A Season of Suffering

We are coming out of a season of our lives that, to say the least, has been difficult. It has been particularly difficult because for whatever reason, when Krista and I go through difficult seasons, we tend to go through them alone. We talk to each other, and I talk to my mom, but generally otherwise it is just us. This time Krista was fortunate to have one close friend in Bloomington she could get together for lunches with and share.

This season started in March when the dealership I worked for was sold to a large auto group. It seemed to go well at first beyond the added workload. I had truly poured my heart and soul into that store, developing the service department. After several months it became clear the new ownership was going to be taking a different direction with management.

In October I left that store I loved and a group of people I still care about. I took what would end up being a very short term uncomfortable job with another dealer in town.

The first of the year we made the definite decision to relocate. This was a difficult decision as we love Bloomington and hated moving the kids again. I sent out resumes to dealers and ended up finding a job in Nappanee, Indiana. I started the job which meant spending time away from my family and driving back every weekend until we found a place to live. In the mean time I stay in a single room with a bed, sink, dresser, closet, and desk. I share a bathroom with three other guys in similar rooms.

On the morning of why would have been my third day of work I got a call early in the morning that my dad’s heart had stopped. Before I could get dressed he had passed away. In the middle of all the chaos, everything stopped. This was all that mattered.

That Saturday was the funeral, then chaos was back into full swing. Packing, looking for a home, trying to sell our house, all while managing a service department.

This weekend we are moving to our new condo. We have a small handful of people to help load the truck so far. And as of now we have no one to help unload once we get to our new home. Krista’s dad who has always been there to help is recovering from heart surgery and no one else has stepped up. We don’t know anyone in the North Webster area so getting help on this end is trickier.

So why am I writing this? Partly because I think part of the reason Krista and I suffer alone is because no one knows we are suffering. But mainly because I’m trying to learn to embrace where I am in life. Life isn’t always fun, happy, or exciting, but we find peace and grow when we embrace the broken place we are really at and find God there. For me, sometimes writing helps me to identify and embrace where I am. I share my writing because sometimes others find themselves in similar places, and through humble honesty we can relate and take encouragement from one another. Peace.

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